My time/Your time

 

what is my time? –

 

is it the cackling up with the vessels

or mimicking mum’s homemaking

or chuckling with books

or listening to people’s stories...

 

is it the endless scrolling through screens

or giggling away with a distant friend

or beaming over those emails

or awaiting that message...

 

is it the grandma's frail and tender touch

or gentle exchanges with the milkman

or attending to the bird songs

or tending to one’s body and breath...

 

is it the hours arrested daydreaming

or spent in the fear of unknown

or consumed by the past regrets

or reviving from the cacophony of self - doubt...

 

can time be owned?

does it really stay mine

or transfigures itself

when others partake in it?

Grounding

 

                                                    Lonely corner of an enchanted building 

A strange catapulted wing 

Striding from one petal to another 

On days beaming with pride 

yet besieged by the night time snide

The fleeting gratifying lightness 

but the doubt ever so consuming 

which of the two is real 

the gliding sorrow or the gleeful blooming? 

Torn apart under this giant paradox 

clambers the lonely hidden self 

perpetually chasing for its patented tag 

is it the mighty valor or the worn out slag ?

gently emerges a space, devoid of such duality 

the momentary is-ness, withholding no entity 

how does one cave in to this humbling presence 

of a life without any real essence? 

 

Ladder stories

Two ardent players
pitting against each other
Gambling away the fates
with figments of desirous states

This ladder hauls one atop
And another towards gravity
when the former beams with pride
the latter scorns the stingy bite

fervently moving forward
the former hopes to be 'there'
at a distant space full of learnings
loading it with mirthful yearnings

The latter aches to be where the former is
bartering away its initial dreams
for what is out there
but with immense trepidation and care

When the two unite at an unlikely juncture
Latter asks former, "how is it up there?"
"Jittery, and reclusive "
"What about you?" .. asks the former
"inhibited and wretched"

"I wish to break free,
and flirt with the apex of your affairs.."
daringly adds the latter
"I wish to embrace your rootedness
with no fear of further falling"
wistfully mumbles the former.

Both make a compelling case
longing for the known and the unknown
with their only respite being the reciprocal uncertainty
of the happenings henceforth
Juggling to sustain the essence of a 'here' or a 'there'...



PC: -  https://www.123rf.com/photo_56918100_stock-vector-snakes-and-ladders-board-game-cartoon-illustration.html

Diwali Haikus :)

                                                                                              - Hanoi'19

#1

The happy lanterns
Dangling atop every window
Weighing up human dreams
In the darkness of present reality...


#2

Colorfully crafted sweets
That tingle sudden urges
Causing reckless indulgence
from childlike guilelessness

#3

Dusty Diwali cleaning
a chance for newer beginnings
collapse of tangled webbed dynasties
untangling deep buried memories...

#4

The ritual of Rangoli
adorned with asorted shades
and hours of happy bantering
of women and their desires...

#5

Much ado about lights
and illumination
Another attempt to brighten the outside
Or faintly coping with blazing lights of thy within?

Of Avoidance and Comfort

                                             Photo credits: Most talented - Vandu 🎔🎔🎔
                                       
 

I read these staggering stories
with excerpts chained in order
of life and death
horror and peace
wins and losses
and many mournful deceits

I wonder how we tread that passage everyday
loaded with shame and courage
grief and acceptance
hope and despair
all at once?

We merely glance through them
carefully avoiding the deeper dive
of both pain and joy
because 'surplus can kill..'

I wonder how our bodies juggle
between breathing in the resentment
and out the awe & glory
dancing on this auto-rhythm...

Is switching in-between these states easier
than containing with a hazy sense of self?
How skillfully we conceal from our fragmented being
by swinging through these staggered pieces...

As long as

                                              -Hospital Cave,  Cat-ba Island

As long as you look the way I see you…

I trust you.

As long as you see the way I see things…

I trust you.

As long as you detest because it hurt me…

I trust you.

As long as you smile because I think it’s true…

I trust you.

As long as you fail because I think you deserve it…

I trust you.

As long as you lament because I think I do not deserve it…

I trust you.

Thus, I trust you as long as,

Your perceptions

Your complexes

Is all an extension of myself… 

But

When you disrupt my trust,

I am coerced to confront

The self- broken and demeaned,

From which I gleefully escape,

When I try to see you like me

Broken and demeaned.                                                   

Unearthing

                                                   Most Beloved Keikosan's Home Garden


A fountain of rage
waging from the streets
of humans sharing their stories
releasing chronic angst

Perhaps it is more that spills along
less succinct, hidden drops
mortified of their own presence
yet breathing an uncanny glint

Bemused of this layered presence
Of something that anger is shielding
under its mighty guise
trampling in unison with its mates

To rest the rising perplexity
finally spurts a fellow human
'those were the tears of pursuit
cloaking themselves under fits of fury'

but then how far should hope persist
with unceasing relentless actions?
or it is alright to seek respite
to let the nature spin its wisdom?

Will it ensue if I re-posit?
Asks the impatient fellow human..